With Emmy, I knew I would have a hard time with breastfeeding. Not because I wasn't armed with knowledge - I was. Since Devin, I have researched an enormous amout of info on the topic. I was very well-prepared, and determined to stick it out this time.
December 2010 - I noticed a lump in my left breast that never went away. I had it looked at many times. I knew it was infected (bright green pus coming out of my nipple was a dead giveaway). I was on antibiotics almost constantly for almost 5 months, and it never got better. Around May 2011, it became less bothersome (mainly because I was more preoccupied with finishing nursing school), so I let it fly under the radar for awhile. Then, I got pregnant in July. By the time I had my first prenatal appointment in September, the lump had gotten bigger, so I had my OB look at it. He decided we would continue to monitor it. So, at every single visit, I took my top off and had Lefty poked and prodded, because it just kept getting bigger. In December 2011, it started to hurt, so January 3rd, 2012, we did another sonogram on it. January 25th, we attempted to drain the abcess in office. We could not get any fluid out of it, just some more pus. It was the next day my preterm labor started, so we had to hold off on messing with my boob anymore for the time being.
March 25th - Lefty busted open on its' own. It hurt so bad, but the pressure was somewhat gon since I expressed all of the pus.. but the lump was still there. Possibly a cell wall, my OB said. We'd look into it more after delivery.
April 5th- Emmalyn was born. Yay! Now we can look at my boob that still had a gaping hole in it). Negative. Let's establish breastfeeding and bonding first.
April 12th - Lefty busted open again, in the same spot. Not just pus this time. Lots of blood, for days. Go to the ER the next day (4/13), they send me home without so much as a pain pill.
Weeks drag on as I try to get in to see the surgeon I was referred to. I had to change my primary care provider with my insurance *10* times (no exaggeration).
April 26th - FINALLY! I get to see the surgeon. He takes one look at the hole in my boob (that is now bigger AND has a chunck of tissue the size of a pencil eraser coming out of it) and says we'll do surgery ASAP. I went in for an ultrasound at the radiology dept the next day (4/27). Follow up appt Tuesday, May 1st. Surgery on Wednesday, May 2nd. The surgeon warned me that I might be losing an extensive amount of breast tissue; that I wouldn't be able to breastfeed on that breast for a long time during healing, but possibly never again. I just didn't realize how bad it was really going to be until we removed the surgical dressing the next day.
Milk running out of the hole....
Side view....
Inside... The hole started out being "L" shaped, and about 6-7 inches in length. My middle finger would easily fit inside the hole.
That was the 1st day post op. It's already healing quite nicely, but I still have a long way to go. I have dressing changes twice a day, where it has to be packed full of gauze. It's really pretty gross. And I'm very angry about this for many reasons, but the main two are:
1) Why didn't anyone take the time to treat me before it got to this point? I know different doctors tried antibiotics, I know we monitored it, but OBVIOUSLY it was getting bigger and worse, so someone should've tried something else. And considering I already have a personal history of cancer... someone should've done something ALOT sooner.
2) I cannot breastfeed my little girl. Since the day she was born, I was nursing her off of Righty only. That was hard all by itself. But because of the surgery, and all the pain meds, I can't even feed her off of that one anymore. I did make it until she was 3 1/2 weeks old. But then, it got to where every time I nursed ger or even just fed her breastmilk in a bottle, she threw it all right back up. I was afraid the infection had spread, and that's why she was getting sick. I couldn't risk getting her sick. So I stopped nursing 2 days before the surgery. I was cleared to nurse her on the right side now, but she is still getting sick every time I do (but NOT AT ALL with the formula), so I am just going to take a break from it until I'm completely healed, and then attempt relactation.
Anyways, let this be a lesson. Do regular self breast exams on yourself. When you find something unusual, get it checked out immediately. And if the initial treatments do not work, make your doctor try something else. Or get a second opinion. Or a third. But trust your instincts, and don't try to wait it out. Here is a link explaining breast self-exams. Check it out.
No comments:
Post a Comment